Quantcast
Channel: TwitchyCorner » truth
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 3

Falling down, Getting Up Again

0
0

In a week that’s seen another lovely soul lost long before time and, in a reminder from 1997 a look back at another life lived too hard and ended too soon, people are speaking up about uncomfortable subjects. Hear, hear.

2013 was hard for many and it was for me. Haaaaaaard. Mercifully not life-and-death hard as it was for some, but still: far more challenging than I would have been okay with. For some months I hit a low so deep and dark I fell down a hole. I withdrew, sobbed for weeks, existed within a black cloud of dread, barely functioned. Few knew this but my inner circle.

I’m all about truth though, so I’ll acknowledge it in the way one does when one scrapes oneself up off the ground and prepares to stride purposefully forward. Onward. Upward. Anew. Shakily at first, with messy hair.

 Buddha Truth Quote

I turned forty-two last year. Why yes, it has been about the Meaning of Life, thank you Mr Adams. Some aspects continue to drag on while others snuck up and fell out of the sky- *BAM!!*- onto my unsuspecting head as though the sky itself really was falling. Things I could not have predicted had me digging ever deeper, when I already thought I had nothing left. I’ve learnt a lot about myself.

Sometimes, we only fall down because we are prepared to look at everything for what it really is, tackle it head on and not deny it. Not everyone does that, go figure. I have been brave.

I’ve had my patience, faith and intestinal fortitude tested beyond my wildest imaginings. I’ve given to others the best of my inner self and taken solace from a very precious, select few. I’ve been dealt lessons that have rocked me to my core, opened my mind and changed some of my beliefs for good. I’ve taken huge risks, fought for myself and others. I’ve cried and reduced others to tears. Not all bad, just truth.

Truth hurts, even if it’s old news… but it can bring great rewards. Beneath the rubble of vulnerability a strength is uncovered.

eleanor roosevelt courage quote

All any of us really wants is to be understood and accepted for who we are. It’s just that not everyone else is prepared to handle that.

Even beyond last year there have been one or two I might have been a little too much for; lost along the way. In my sadness and disappointment over those losses there is also the realisation: if those I considered close cannot handle me in my time of need (then perhaps irrespective that I’d have stuck by them were the roles reversed), I’d rather know their colours. It makes those who have stood by me all the more precious now.

Change can feel terrifying while it’s happening. That doesn’t mean it always is in the end, even if you think you’ll be swallowed whole in the process. Maybe that’s just the old you, making way for the new? I’m turning my lessons into a paradigm shift, one that looks squarely at which limitations are realistic and which ones I’ve set for myself through years of looking through a narrower lens.

Here’s what I sense about the coming year for me: I am bringing myself around to the present, without denying the past that made me. It’s a year for rebuilding, reinventing and re-establishing. It will be more productive, generally and creatively, more social in actual life, not just via media. I’m doing things instead of talking about them. We’ll finally move in to the new house we’ve been building seemingly forever and it will be okay. I believe more in my own capabilities and what I deserve. I dare. In terms of writing, I’m honing the stronger voice I’ve been just warming up to.

I’m letting go of deeply ingrained, limiting beliefs I’ve let define me and seeing where that takes me. There’s no rush; I’ve given myself permission to take the whole year but this already feels different.

What indeed, is the purpose of eternal potential? It is the page that stays blank forever.

A thought? Be there for someone. It could be the best investment you ever make.

My sincerest thanks and love to A, M, N, J, S, C & C. You have seen me, heard me and held my hand. It means everything.


Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 3

Latest Images

Trending Articles





Latest Images